Today we welcome Dr. Rosie Kuhn to the Fesyk Marketing blog! As a transformational life and business coach (and author!), she has great advice about setting goals, and why goal setting is so hard. She has some great tips to overcome the obstacles we place along the path to setting and achieving goals. Read on for her tips!
Why is Goal Setting So Hard?
At a minimum, 90% of the individuals who come to me for business coaching find themselves at a standstill. They have specific objectives and goals they want to achieve, however, they just can’t seem to make them happen. They can’t seem to get out of their own way!
In the initial session, business owners and wannabe entrepreneurs come in frustrated and disappointed. They will list off the timeline for their goals, and complain that they just aren’t able to make things happen.
After hearing the list, I ask a question—it’s actually THE QUESTION! “What is your intention for fulfilling these objectives and goals? Quite often the individual will look at me as if I’m an idiot. “What do you mean, what is my intention—my intention is to be successful in my business and make money!”
I will then again ask the question—What is your intention?—this time in relation to being successful and making money. At this point, people are questioning if they just wasted their hard-earned money on this crazy lady asking questions to which the answers should be obvious.
For over 20 years, I’ve worked as a Transformational Life and Business Coach. And consistently, every single client struggles to achieve their goals and objectives when they are:
- unclear about the intention of those goals and objectives,
- unaware of conflicting commitments that undermine their progress,
- unwilling to change and grow for the sake of their business, and unwilling to let go of what doesn’t work and what they are afraid to lose.
A. Unclear Intentions
Without strong and clear intentions, your business will remain on shaky ground. You will doubt yourself and your capacity to fulfill your heart’s desire. You will look at what others are doing. You’ll question the worthiness of your endeavours. And, you will compare yourself and your business with others out there. This creates more unsureness, stress and overwhelm. This isn’t a fun way to be in business!
As a practice, write down all of your intentions for your business, for each goal and for each objective. In essence, you are creating a vision for your company. For example, “The intention of my business is to bring beauty into the world. The goal is to cultivate awareness of the importance of my product and service. My heart’s desire is to make the world a better place.”
When I do this with clients, their hearts begin to remember the inspiration for doing what they want to do. They are enlivened, and fun returns to the process of growing their business and their dreams.
B. Conflicting Commitments
When you are as committed to not failing as you are to being successful, your business will go NOWHERE.
Most of us are unaware of the conversations that are ongoingly occurring in our brains. And, these conversations are the obstacles to the success and fulfillment we are wanting to achieve. When we aren’t aware of conflicting commitments we are unaware of the influences they have on our momentum.
Every “yes but, if only, and what if, creates hesitation. They question your resolve, your abilities, and your capacity to bring your A-Game to the world. Each and every one of us has to personally train ourselves to notice these conversations that are not in alignment with our goals and objective.
As a practice, write down your “Yes, Buts,” “If Only’s,” and “What Ifs.” List ALL of your fears. For example, “I want to be successful in my business, but what if it takes time away from my family? What if to become successful I will have less time with my family? What if I’ll be stressed and overwhelmed? I’ll have to be more organized and I hate being organized. If only I didn’t have to do the stuff I hate doing!!”
This practice allows you to see where you are not in alignment with your Intentions, your goals or objectives. Truth is, each of us has to make peace with the part of us who isn’t on board with what we say we want—our spoken commitment. The clearer we become regarding conflicting commitments the more we are at choice to do something with them.
C. Unwilling to Change:
As we grow our business our business will grow us.
Most of us who have an intention to grow our businesses look for tried and true methods of doing that. Tried and true, in essence, means there are no risks—it’s foolproof and fail-safe! But the truth is, the underlying phenomenon that occurs is: as you grow your business you grow yourself. Without personal growth, your capacity to lead, make decisions, overcome stress and overwhelm, won’t allow you to grow your company to the next level. Each and every one of us has to expand the edges of our comfort zone to allow for greater degrees of comfort in making those choices that will grow us and our business.
As a practice, reread your list of “Yes, Buts,” “If Only’s,” and “What Ifs.” Notice the voice inside your head that says, “I DON’T WANT TO CHANGE!!! I DON’T WANT TO WORK THAT HARD!!!” Notice emotions, fears, worries and overwhelm that begin to form. YUCK!!!
This is known as “The Big Fat Be-With.” To bring success to your business and to your life, you need to be with what isn’t working and what needs to change. This takes courage and strength. You and billions of people all have to participate in “The Big Fat Be-With.” No one is exonerated from this process. You are not alone!
Work With a Thinking Partner or Business Coach to Empower You To Create Your Unique Recipe for Success
Every successful entrepreneur will share with you their specific recipe for success. That means there are thousands of recipes for success out there. How do you choose which recipe to use for your specific intentions? You have to be willing to trust and respect your visions, your intentions, your goals and objectives. You have a “knowing” stronger than anything you’ve yet experienced. Trust that knowing.
If that knowing isn’t yet strong enough, you will be challenged to overcome obstacles to fulfilling your goals and objectives. That means growing yourself up, or leveling up your capacity to be who you need to be in order to do what you need to do. Research and find a business coach that will support and empower you through this process.
Research and Find the Marketing Company that Listens to Who You Are
Just like hiring a business coach, you want a marketing company that understands that each and every business is unique, and is built upon very individual and precious intentions. Your relationship with your business is something to be nurtured and nourished. By working with the marketing consultant that understands these important relationships, you’ll be able to strengthen your capacity to believe in your vision, trust your knowing, love your vision and know that when you are stuck it’s because you haven’t yet come to that point of letting go of what doesn’t work and what you are afraid to lose.
One Last Tip!
You and your business deserve all the love and support you are willing to receive. Successful businesses and entrepreneurs are willing to do whatever it takes to build their dreams into their fullest expression. Hire the best supports possible. They will grow your capacity for confidence in yourself and in your business.
There you have it—some reasons goal setting is so hard, and some tips to confront this and make goal setting easier!
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Key Takeaway:
Goal setting is hard because we’re unclear about our objectives, unaware of our conflicting commitments, and unwilling to change! By being clear with yourself about what inspires you, by facing the “yes, buts” in your life, and by being willing to make hard changes, you can begin to make goal setting much easier.
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About Dr. Rosie Kuhn:
Dr. Rosie Kuhn has worked with companies worldwide for over 20 years. She is the author of 14 books, including Dilemmas of Being in Business, The ABC’s of Spirituality in Business, and Self-Empowerment 101. For more information about Dr. Rosie, go to her website: theparadigmshifts.com
Other Posts on the Blog About Setting Goals:
About Fesyk Marketing
We are a small but mighty team of relationship builders and content creators.
We provide relationship marketing guidance and support to a variety of different businesses in Canada and the US. Our main focus is to help small businesses build better relationships with leads and existing clients so that they can grow through referrals and reputation. Content creation is at the heart of what we do. We have the capacity to bring to life our clients’ most creative ideas.